As we roll out of summer fashions and into back to school fashions, even as I go shopping with my 9 year old 4th grade daughter I have been asking myself a question, “Is Modest Really Hottest?” Honestly is dressing modestly, really the hottest way to dress for girls, or even women. I know we want to wear the cute little message t-shirt and teach the youth group lesson series. It seems all “Christian-correct” to say that and kind of believe that, but I really don’t think so. Modesty is NOT hot and it shouldn’t be.
Before you get all worked up and start thinking up a heated comment for below or fire up the I-pad for a “tweet beat down”, let me explain. I don’t believe that our girls should be seeking to be hot. Especially if they are single, not married, and under the age of being married there is no need for them to be dressing or seeking to be hot. Women of any age, really, should not be seeking to be hot, modest or not…publically. True “hotness”, as the American culture tries to define it, should be reserved for private times inside marriage. By its very definition, “Hot”, is referring to something that belongs inside of marriage, so once a girl is married hanging out (literally) with her husband she can/should dress immodestly, be as hot as she want!
True modesty, as the Bible defines it is more about the attitude and relationship with God. Modesty, by it very definition and idea, is the opposite of hot. If we are teaching our girls correctly, we should be teaching our girls to dress beautifully and Biblically. This may seem boring and almost old-fashion for a moment, but then take another moment to actually look around at fashion, clothes, and our culture. It is absolutely very possible to dress extremely “fashion forward”, and “on trend” while still dressing beautifully and Biblically. We like to create a “straw women” when it comes to this issue and beat her to death Never in the history of the world has more clothes, accessories, and fashions have been available to our girls. On top of that, currently there are more fashionably acceptable styles to choose from than ever. In order to dress Biblically and modestly, does not mean you have to go Amish, not at all.
Finally, the flip-side of the issue is our guys. By creating a message (once again literally) that “Modest is Hottest”, we are also telling our guys to look at a girl no matter how under or over-dressed she is and try to see her as “hot. Isn’t that kind of defeating the purpose in a way? ”. To be somewhat frank, it is not that hard for guys. If a guy’s heart and relationship with God is not right, a girl can be wearing a tarp and he will still “see” what they want to “see”. Why not once again teach our guys some fashion sense? Encourage our guys to notice, appropriately that a girl is dress beautifully and nice. As slightly superficial as it sounds for a second, get our guys to notice in a good way the outward appearance, in order to appreciate the inward. Teach our guys to see that a girl has made an effort look nice and chose wisely something that reflect her Godly personality, character, and who she is. That way both the guys and girls of your group will begin to understand the goal of modesty is not hotness after all?